Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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