"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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