Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize