I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
