Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
