I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
