Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry heyzoe hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(818): View more from California

Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?

Fav 5 1244 737
share tweet
(816): View more from Missouri

i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants

Fav 6 2333 896
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(510): View more from California

I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.

Fav 13 9071 967
share tweet
(302): View more from Delaware

I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game

Fav 10 4802 1173
share tweet
(718): View more from New York

He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.

Fav 28 6481 1388
share tweet
(714): View more from California

If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.

Fav 10 2793 1537
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(502): View more from Kentucky

Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.

Fav 11 1660 1321
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(941): View more from Florida

I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.

Fav 3 990 582
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night

Fav 0 27 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT