may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
