Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
