between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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