the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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