It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
