I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
