After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
