I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
