Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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