The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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