Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.