There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Do vagina's smell?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
