Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
