and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
