If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize