I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
