Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
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I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
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He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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