I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
