I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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