He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
