haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
This is the high leading the old right now
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
