If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
