I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
