You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I got inside last night via doggy door
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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