I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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