last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
