trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
