How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
