i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
