I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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