I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
