I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
