I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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