He is an equal opportunity slut.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think your dad took our porno
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
