So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
