I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I touched a dick in church today
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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