You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
