oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
