Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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