Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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