I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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