She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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