btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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