I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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