I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize