Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
