Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
