I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
