im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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