Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
