i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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