I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize
